Being labelled with ugly names, your whole journey with a precious person depicted in its entirety as abusive and utterly false, as if you lied the whole time and intended to set a beautiful soul on a path to destruction.
It’s not an illogical response to trauma, a profound loss.
Picking oneself up from the little deaths your soul bled out for, yes there is pain and anguish and loss and your own journey to move along, to heal and grow and understand your life, your purpose.
Yes, I’ve done this, too. It’s not an illogical reaction. If something is devastating, you can explain what happened by enormous guilt cast upon yourself. If you are rocked by feelings of betrayal, it’s hard to understand that other person as far more complex than your retellings and remembrance would remind you.
How simpler it is to think of yourself as deserving your pain.
How restorative it is to question someone precious, turn them into a shadow of that magnificent soul you admired before.
How damaging your story is, when you caricature yourself or someone other.
People are more complex than that. You are more lovely than this.
With such hatred in our hearts, and when we, uniquely, look at Christ upon that cross, have a moment to recall how He loves you and that someone other.
You can choose what you will. You do what you like, or decide to like.
The memory of your beautiful soul remains, and in both your heart and that someone other, that memory shall sit.