Hook ’em with a quote

“I am no feminist. Even though the term ‘feminism’ is founded upon the basic principle of gender equality, it possesses its own fundamental gender bias, which makes it inclined towards the wellbeing of women, over the wellbeing of the whole society. And if history has shown anything, it is that such fundamental biases in time corrupt even the most glorious ideas and give birth to prejudice, bigotry and differentiation.”

+ Abhijit Naskar; The Bengal Tigress: A Treatise on Gender Equality

I’ve been meaning to write on this for quite some time, and Day Five’s prompt worked out the timing for me. Granted, I’m very behind in this blogging course. Should be composing for Day Ten. Meep?

Several times on Snowbunny, I wrote that I don’t identify as feminist or with feminism. This quote from Naskar summates my standpoint succinctly. The inherent superiority of the female sex as the driving force in feminism disturbs me.

Now, that said, I didn’t state being unsympathetic to many of the societal issues where feminism is involved. Yes, I believe women should be respected. Yes, I believe the scales of power should be balanced, and the “war of the sexes” needs reconciliation.

It ends there.

“You don’t need to see yourself through the delusional eyes of the society. It’s the society that needs to see you, through your eyes.”

+ Abhijit Naskar; The Bengal Tigress: A Treatise on Gender Equality

I refuse to accept that one sex holds all the answers for the suffering of humanity. I refuse to accept that all blame lies solely upon men. I refuse to give up my personal convictions. I am sensitive and do try to listen with those who have differing views to mine. Who live differently than me, who act and think differently than me. But I’m not willing to blindly accept all outcries tossed my way, nor would I desire to.

Feminism hasn’t “won” because its strength is also its weakness, and not enough progress is openly being made to reconcile that foundational observation as wave after wave rise and fall.

#YesAllWomen

I am incensed with this movement’s progression for at least one glaring reason: Being a woman automatically includes me without my ability to disagree or detach. The swollen chorus reduces me to my biological sex, which is evidently the only justification I’d need to be a victim.

I suffered more at the hands of women than men. I don’t appreciate at all how my contradictory voice is coerced into modification and/or silence.

My confessions of sexual abuse by men is no excuse to slap such reasoning on to me, especially when I had boundaries set and reminders readied. Ignoring everything else, but pinning all on any shreds of my life one knows to – quite frankly – convert me, is disgusting, unethical, and reduces me to another number of that brokenness.

This denies my journeying in recovery. This denies my agency and communion.

If I give birth to a female infant, I will not accept the pronouncement that she is/will be a victim. If I give birth to a male infant, I will not accept the pronouncement that he is a born rapist. I acknowledge there is a chance that either/both could be victims, and either/both could be rapists. Who knows? I don’t bother with trying to determine their future with such lack of evidence to sustain these powerful suggestive beliefs.

Andrei and I are approaching the one-year relationship mark, and I am exhausted by people lecturing to me about perils that I will supposedly encounter if with/near any man. Our bond, with each day, takes effort, work, and willingness to learn and relearn. Are we perfect? No. This is no utopia, neither is this damnation. We’re persons that are more than our sexes, and we are together by continuous choosing.

Sisterhood

I grew up without a sister. I don’t feel I lack some vital aspect of my womanhood by not having had one. I had female friends and cousins, aunts, grandmothers, a great-grandmother, etc. Having a sister was not important to me. I do have a sister-in-law, though that’s a recent development.

A trend I witnessed over the past year is the notion that Lightworker = Spiritual Woman. Rare is the publicized website/community in this day that openly welcomes/accepts any others besides women or men deemed feminized enough to be permitted entry. There’s a host of potential problems that may (and some already have) arise from this shift in popularized connotation.

Criticism is for growth, not destruction. There is a difference between criticism that is intended for healthy development, and so-called “criticism” that does nothing constructive for those who present the work.

I do not appreciate being shamed for lacking a wide circle of female companions according to someone else’s definition of what constitutes as “essential” for all women.

Being a woman erases my face, reduces me to an event described by numbers, and herded into propaganda where I’m denied my right to disagree or keep apart – because my sex already is used against me to include/recruit me. All these attacks on my personhood by these who claim to care for me, to love me, to educate me, to liberate me, to – dare I say it – rescue me and play saviour for me. Without my consent. Without my permission. Without bothering to ASK me, I as a woman am harmed in the name of healing.

Discussion of “toxic masculinity” implies that there is “toxic femininity.”

I was – and still am – subject to gender violence, aggression, harassment, discrimination, objectification, shaming, and ostracizing, by females. Have I suffered only at the hands of other women? Certainly not! Am I dismissing the wrongs of men? Not at all.

I am that I am.

“I’d rather listen to what you think of yourself, than what the whole world has to say about you.”

+ Abhijit Naskar; The Bengal Tigress: A Treatise on Gender Equality

My desires and identities, like any human-in-being, can be mutable.

  • I am a feminine woman according to my views of what defines my femininity.
  • I am monogamous, demiromantic, and heterosexual. Yes, it’s a mouthful and I dislike having to say it as much as I do to “prove” my decisions.
  • I want marriage.
  • I want to be a mother, in forms motherhood may manifest for me.
  • I am pro-choice, including and not limited to abortion. I am personally intimate with the complexities of the reproductive and body ownership debates, and this is my general stance.
  • I enjoy domestic arts when they are done with my consent. I enjoy other activities and responsibilities outside the home setting.
  • I am pleased with myself as a graduate student with open career possibilities alongside anticipating family life.
  • And lastly, as my bunnyhop for this post, I am not feminist.

If your theoretical/belief orientation justifies absolute power to coerce, condemn, silence, or violate my personhood, perhaps you should re-examine your vantage point. I’m not a tabula rasa begging for induction into ideologies I’m not comfortable with. Back off and give me the same magnitude of respect you demand for yourself. You are hurting me in the name of helping me!

“Well, I don’t want to be anyone but myself, even if I go uncomforted by diamonds all my life,” declared Anne. “I’m quite content to be Anne of Green Gables, with my string of pearl beads.”

+ L. M. Montgomery; Anne of Green Gables

I bent the requirements, LOL. Used more than one quote, but I satisfy the prompt terms by beginning this post with one! ;D


REFERENCES


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